The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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