i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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