i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
