i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
