You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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