yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
