Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Randomize
