i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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