We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
