How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
