it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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