GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
