So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
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