If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
