if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
