I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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