Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
