I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
We named our party play list daddy issues
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
