I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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