I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
