it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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