After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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