I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
the day after is always just damage control
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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