I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
