I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
