i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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