Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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