Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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