The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
