wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
