Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
