Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
