dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Dignity is for republicans.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
