Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
