At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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