TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You made out with two different species that night
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
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