On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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