Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize