best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
