Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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