So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
