Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
