I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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