WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
