At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
