I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
