He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
