Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Randomize
