I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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