Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
this is an emotional support booty call
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
