did you get engaged???
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
